From the time I was little I always sympathized more with the villains than the heroes. In comics and shows and books, I always felt bad for the poor guy who lost his family and decided to end the world. Or the lady who USED to be the prettiest in the land until that little black-haired bimbo came around. Or the little creepy guy who just tried to help a lady out, and then had her renege on her contract. They were always better drawn, had better wardrobes, cooler toys, better lines. Why would anyone want to root for the boring dude in the white hat that always did the right thing and never had any fun?
So for many years now, I've been looking for a dude who can fulfill my need for evil. Qualifier: Evil does not equal asshole. (Side note, why doesn't my keyboard have a "doesn't equal" symbol? It has an equal symbol. Just another example of the negative getting trampled over by the heroes.) I spent way too many years thinking I had found my darling Lex Luther, and realizing he was just a douche. Hannibal Lector would never be mean to a waitress. He would be super-polite, and save up the evil mastermind stuff for the people that really deserved it. You don't just go around being a dick all willy-nilly. So long story short (too late!) I am still looking. I have my own evil plans laid out, and I have my own dominations, but wouldn't it be nice to have someone to share the throne with?
So to conclude, I'll leave you with an ad I put on Craigslist a few years ago. I was pondering the difficulties of finding a truly evil man in the world today, and decided to go where one goes for anything they're having trouble finding. I'd love to say that I got at least one good response, but aside from all the pictures of dude's dicks, I received a few emails from nerds who got the references, and one guy who claimed to be evil but said he worked for a charity non-profit. What is this world coming to?
Single White Female seeking Dr. Horrible - 24 (Austin)
Reply to: [REDACTED]
Date: 2009-01-06, 11:20PM CST
Looking for: Evil super-villain to take over the world with, build death-rays with, generally cause a ruckus. Rich and handsome Lex Luther types a plus, also Dr. Horrible style villain on the rise ok as well. Really only looking for humanoid villains.
I am: attractive slender evil woman, waiting to plot evil schemes. 5'7", short brown hair, perfect for any plans that involve seducing. Will provide henchman if needed.
References to leagues of evil welcome, also picture would help.
Yeah, it's really sad. No one really respects the theatricality of the black hat anymore.
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